kalau

29th November 2009

Kalau aku 'tutup' semuanya akan baik-baik sajakah?

Aidiladha datang lagi

26th November 2009

Salam Aidiladha untuk semua. Ku kira, waktu ini, waktu terbaik untuk type entry ini? Agak2 kenapa ye? Ye, kerana, kalo kat UK, skrg ni, dah malam (warga lelaki da sibuk bertakbir dari rumah ke rumah - aktiviti biasa bila tiba hari raya), dan kat Malaysia pula dah hampir2 masuk waktu subuh - kiranya dah hari raya lah ni.

Petang tadi, ku berwebcam dan ber-call ngan family kat rumah. Yang perempuannya tgh sibuk kat dapur, sediakan juadah untuk hari raya. Yang lelakinya? Hahaha, xtaw la ke mana. Dorg angkut laptop p dapur, so dapatlah ku lihat kesibukan mereka - haaiihh.. rindu itu semua. Aidilfitri baru2 ini, ku bernaseb baek kerana berpeluang beraya kat rumah, alhamdulillah.. Merasakan bahawa suasana aidilfitri yang dah lama tak ku rasai seumpamanya begitu meriah, ak kangen utk pulang beraya sekali lagi. Apakan daya, ku tak berdaya. Apabila terpaksa beraya kat sini, maka mood raya pon, hanyalah suam-suam kuku shj, tak sesuam air suam.

Tak apalah. Mungkin jika umur panjang, ku masih bisa rasai semua itu sekali lagi, aamin. Kepada pembaca yang budiman, Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha, ucapan maaf seikhlasnya dari hati..

She came!

24th November 2009

I think, I've never been excited to post something on my blog, at least not in this recent few months. But, for this entry, I was like "I want my lappy now~!! I wanna update my blog!" Ngeee~~ So, what's up? Ye la kan, nk story bagai, musti ade cer best. Taylor Swift concert~!!!! Mane x best. It was a quite long journey, really. But I don't care. If I have to change the train for few times, I'm still going. :P Btw, the concert took place at Wembley Arena, London.

The concert started with the opening show from Justin Bieber. Honestly, I don't even know who he is. Budak lagi pon. Lagu2 boleh tahan.. Tp, mcm tu la.. suara budak kan. Patut Justin perform dr 7.30 smpi 8.30. Tp, sbb kaki dia tibe2 injured, dia wat show smpi pkol 8 je. In the meantime tggu crew2 setting stuffs for Taylor, audience wat gile. Haha. Mcm2 hal. Buat 'ombak jahat' la.. hentak kaki kt lantai la.. sorak2 la.. Ye la, isi mase lapang.

At 8.30 pm, Taylor started her show with 'you belong with me'. Perrgghhh.. Crowd jerit x hengat. Beranak anak telinga kot. Ak pon join skali aa. Excited gile nmpk dia tgh2 stage. Heee.. Dkt akhir2 lagu tu, Taylor wat masuk guitar dia.. Ak paling suke guitar tu,, comey.. siap ade gliters2 bagai.. Lepas tu, x igt dh dia perform lagu ape.. The one after that, my fav too; 'teardrops on my guitar'. Siap wat ala2 musical sket. Ade ballet dancers jd prop..

Lepas tu, Taylor nyanyi ape ntah.. ak x igt dh susunan dia,, antara yg ak igt; 'our song' , 'fearless' ngan 'tim mcgraw'. Yg len, x igt sbb x hapal sgt lagu2 tu. Ms Taylor g tukar baju, cam ade video sket la.. konon2 psl lelaki2 yg ade dlm lagu2 dia. Hahaha,, lawak gak video tu. Then, all of sudden Taylor appeared in the middle of the crowd~!! Lagi bising arena. Yg ak x tahan tu, crowd dekat2 ngan Taylor, siap bleh salam2 peluk2 dia lagi. Mak aii.. jeles ak. Lepas layan sat fans, Taylor perform tgh2 crowd. Haaa.. time ni, bleh tgk dia lagi jelas la.. sbb dekat. Tp still, x tercapai tanganku. Ngahaa..

Tgh2 lagu ape ntah, Taylor benti, then jalan tgh2 crowd, get back to stage. Tgh laluan dia, crowd ade lg yg p peluk-salam dia. I noticed this one lady; Taylor hugged her (quite long time), and she was like "OMG! She hugs me! She hugs me!". Dia btaw mcm tu kat bf dia. Then, his bf hugged her and kissed her forehead with a smile, sort of telling, "Yes baby, I know". Oke, ak jeles kt mereka, for 2 reasons. Haha.

Naik stage, Taylor smbg lagu td, then smbg ngan 'white horse' <- my fav too. Dlm byk2 lagu yg Taylor nyanyi, ak tggu 2 lagu ni, tp xde; 'the best day' and 'i'm only me when i'm with you'. Tggu gak lagu duet dia ngan boys like girls, 'two is better than one'. Kot la dia nk nnyanyi ngan kwn2 dia. Haa.. sebut psl kwn2.. ak rs, Taylor ade angkut best friend dia, Abigail skali atas stage.. tp ak x knal ngat minah tu. Rs mcm dia ade, ntah, x sure.

Haaa.. ni part best. Bila Taylor ckp, "Ok guys, I'm taking you back in time.." pastu dia p blakang stage (nk tukar baju lagi la tu).. Ms tu, crowd dh gile dah. Ak pon nek gile skali. It's time for 'love story'!!! Then, kuwa la dancers menari ala2 tarian English lame, ngn dress dorg.. Da siap2 tkr baju, Taylor kuwa.. nyanyi 'love story', siap ngan prop ala2 cam dlm video clip dia, old castle. Hihi, actually ade video utk lagu ni, wani yg tlg record. Sape2 yg ade add ak kt fb, bleh la tgk kt situ, k. Kt akhir lagu tu, kan ade part yg si romeo propose.. haaa.. ms tu Taylor smpt transform tu.. dr pakai red English dress, ke white dress. Cun siot! Hah~ 1 fact pasal Taylor, dia mmg suke pakai dress. Video clips ke, performance ke, concert ke.. mesti ngan dresses.. sweet2 plak tu dress dia.

Then, last lagu dr Taylor, 'should've say no'.. gempak jugak. Overall? 11/10 stars. Haha.. over melampau. Ade sorg bdk ni, asek duk kate, Taylor ni dramatic la.. Mmg ah, kalo x, cane bleh jadi song writer, kan? Most of her songs, dia tulis sendiri kot. X kesa la, pape pon, ak suke dia :P

Then, ak balik ngan muka puas hati. Hihi. Siyes. Utk Taylor Swift, aku turutkan jugak even the day after, I have a coursework due (tp dh 80% siap). Smpi bilik lewat gak la. Concert abes dlm pkol 10.30 pm. Smpi bilik.. ade la.. Hihi.

Teardrops on my guitar

17th November 2009

by TS

Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
What I want and I need
And everything that we should be

I'll bet she's beautiful
That girl he talks about
And she's got everything
That I have to live without

Drew talks to me
I laugh 'cause it's just so funny
I can't even see
Anyone when he's with me

He says he's so in love
He's finally got it right
I wonder if he knows
He's all I think about that night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me whishing on a whishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

Drew walks by me
Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She better hold him tight
Give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes
And know she's lucky 'cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

So I drive home alone
As I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down
And maybe get some sleep tonight

'Cuz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

He's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into
Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see

Mati itu pasti

13 November 2009

Salam kepada semua. Ak terima 1 berita kematian hari ni, di kalangan keluarga. Nenek sedara ak meninggal. Al-fatihah untuk allahyarhamah..

Ak x call lg mak ak. Tok (nenek) pon, ak x call lg. Kalo ak call tok ak, ak x taw nk ckp ape kat dia. Tok 3 beradik. Abg dia dah meninggal tahun lepas. Tahun ni, kakak dia plak yg meninggal. Ms ak balik cuti summer hari tu, anak dia yg ke-4 meninggal. Sehari lepas tu, bakal menantu dia meninggal. Ak taw, tok mesti sedih gila. Ak x taw la mcm mane dia nk terima semua ni.

Ms anak dia (ayah sedara ak) meninggal tu, ak temankan tok kat kampung. 3-4 hari jugak la ak kt sane. Dlm tempoh ms tu, rumah tu dilanda kemurungan. Setiap pg, tok akn pegi kubur. Kwsn perkuburan depan rumah tok je. X jauh utk tok yg da x larat tu, jalan kaki. Tok slalu dgn naskah yasin kat tangan dia. Tdo pon dengan naskah tu. Bila dia teringat psl arwah, dia akan bace yasin. Dia asek nanges je. Bila ak tenangkan dia, dia akn cerita mcm2 psl arwah anak dia. Mcm tu gak ngan arwah bakal menantu dia. Dorg rapat. Bila bercerita psl 2 org tu, tok akan mengalirkan air mata. Ak xtaw nk buat ape. Mcm2 yg tok cerita kt ak. Mcm2.. Bukan psl arwah je. Tp, semua cerita2 dlu.. mcm2~ Dia cerita kt ak ngan sorg sepupu ak. Kami seakan pelik sket, nape tok bukak seme cerita tu. Bila abes 1 cerita, tk akan ckp "Tok pon x taw la nape tok cite seme ni kat kamu berdua. Tok dah nk mati agaknya." Kami terpempan. Kemudian, tok teruskan dengan cerita lain plak. Dan, tok ada tinggalkan kami amanah...

Tok ni, lain sket. Lain dr adik beradik dia. Dia hati lembut. Murah dengan senyuman. Dia x cepat marah. Dia mungkin kalut sket, cepat gelabah. Tp, bila tone suara dia lain sket ngan anak-cucu dia, tu x bermakna dia marah. Tok x pnah kesah org layan dia dengan buruk. Even anak dia, even adik beradik dia. Dia tetap tolong dorg, bila dorg datang pd dia. Tok x berpelajaran tggi.Tok x kaye. Mmg tok xde harta. Dia serba miskin. Tp, dia kaya budi. Kaya hati. Dlm xde harta dia tu, dia tolong jugak org lain. Tp, ak sedih, bila tok mintak tolong dgn org, org ssh nk tlolong tok. Tok lalu mcm2 dlm hidup dia. Dia slalu ckp kat ak ngan mak "Tok ni, mcm2 dah lalui dalam hidup ni. Mcm2 dah. Cume blom rase 2 benda.. kaya dan mati.." Ak slalu sebak dgn kata2 ni. Slalu...

Ak doakan tok tabah. Ak doakan di sisa2 usia dia, hidup dia aman. Hidup dia bahagia. Tok, kak long rindu kat tok..

Life as in today

Tekanan makin menggunung..

Wondering..

7th November 2009

It comes to mind, over and over again. Not continuosly, but it do pop up sometimes. So, what was it all about? I've been thinking about the risk of having the 'special someone'. Not soon, not today, not in the time being. But it will happen someday, God's will. Will I ever meet someone who's willing to accept me, my good and my bad? Would he appreciate the 'beauty' part of me? Would he accept my 'ugly side' and the skeletons in my closet? I have this fear..

3.00 am incident

4th November 2009

I'm not usually like this. I mean, me, updating my blog? There's something annoyed me so much this morning. Or, should I say, the very early morning? Fire alarm~!! It was 3 o'clock in the morning, and everyone vacating the building after hearing the loud alarm. I was like, 'Huh?' It's still dark outside, and it can't be the wardens make another more fire drill. They just did one last week. Is this some kind of prank? Wutever~ I sarung my jeans, jacket and tudung, got my keys and went out with wani. Few minutes after the security guards turned off the alarm, they asked for level 2 residents stay at the office. Wutever happen, I really dun care. Wanna sleep. Wanna sleep.

Quote from Rooftop Rant

3rd November 2009

Suatu relationship bukan hanya termaktub pada fasa cinta asyik maksyuk. Bukan hanya bersandar pada physical contact. Bukan hanya didefinisikan dengan kata-kata cinta yang bersadur gula, madu, aspartame dan saccharine yang manis-manis. Bukan hanya kerana suka yang datang dari mata turun ke hati. Bukan hanya hantaran bunga-bunga dan teddy bear kepada dara daripada si lelaki.

"Lontarkan. Jika tidak ia meracun. Kongsikan. Walau hanya pada awan-awan."

hlovate

Pagi Ahad

This is the reality "YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW SOMEONE INSIDE OUT". You can claim you do, but you're actually not. Ok, let say you have a very very good friend, and he said, he'll stay with you no matter what and he'll be there for you any time you wanted him to.. The question is, how would you know he will? What type of guarantee you have? This is why I don't like someone making promises.